My Unconventional Days

The Winter has been long here.  Haze has clung in the air and over all the beauty of the snow.  I like to look out the window and imagine.  Yes, I am holding on.  Waiting for Spring, for rainbows, and for signs of life from the ground.   Needing the rain to come and wash the sad away.

Carson becomes a teenager

My second child is now a teenager.  We celebrated Carson's birthday on Feb. 9th (the Saturday before his birthday, which is the 11th).  We bowled and ate pizza at Fat Cat's.  In the evening, we had cake at home and went out to dinner.  I am proud of Carson.  He is strong and has overcome so much. 

Carson has wanted some cowboy boots.  We took a trip to Ream's for his birthday present.  You should see him wearing them with his pajamas.  Yes, he does.  Micah got another late birthday present in the form of a belt buckle.

Sooo behind!

I am so behind in my posts.  I haven't even posted Christmas pics yet.  So, here is a quick run-down of our bigger events, followed by a little collage of photos.

Our holidays were quiet and at home this year.  We enjoyed the time together.

I started my new job at UVRMC in the hospital billing dept right after Thanksgiving. Three weeks of training in Salt Lake meant long and grueling days, but lots of overtime. 

I quit my job at the library just before Christmas.  A very difficult thing for me.

And then . . . well let's just get to the photos.

We had a Hobbit party at our house on the Saturday before the premiere of the movie.  It lasted four hours and we had lots of food, friends, and a movie.  It was fun for all, and I enjoyed hosting and having friends over.  A few days later, we went to the very first midnight premier of "The Hobbit" with a bunch of my library friends.  Katie came along too.  Dakota, Carson, and Micah had a great time. There was a lot of energy and fun, and a lot of caffeine needed to get us through.

Christmas was a great time.  Dakota refused to have his picture taken.  Don't worry, he was here. 

Carson received the brand new vinyl record player he has been wanting all year.  Look at that face!  He can begin to listen to his vinyl collection now.

Micah got his ipod.  He's a little excited, as well.

Good moments

A few months ago, my eye doctor's assistant gave me a hug in the office.  She had recently gone through a divorce and gave me some encouraging words.  She said that as time went by, there would be a day when I would think "I'm okay right now."  She promised that those moments would increase.  I held onto that hope.  Who knew?  She was right.  I'm having more of those good moments these days.

Last night, a man gave me a dozen beautiful red roses.  They have made our whole house bloom and smell wonderful.   The photo is dark and does not do them justice.

Today, Carson put up our Christmas lights on the house.  He proved once again how capable and willing he is to do the difficult tasks, and he did a great job!

Tonight I had dinner with my friend Melody.  Over Italian food, we talked about men.  We are both single women with children, and share many of the same kind of experiences.  We laughed a lot and got teary as well.  We discussed our loves, losses, and the places in our hearts where we keep all of those things.  I gained strength from this woman whom I have always admired.   A great evening of bonding.

Thank you, lovely moments.

Micah's 10th Birthday

Happy Birthday to my sweet Micah today!  Micah is my little supporter in life.  He always has a smile and a hug, and sometimes a little reassurance for his momma.  I always say that he was picked out in heaven and sent to me because God knew I would need his loving soul.  

You shine your light and your smile on me everyday, Micah.  I love you more than you know.

Art Museum

A lot has happened to me in the last few days.  I lost a longtime friendship.  I reconnected with an old and dear friend of mine.  I tried to get more sleep, to look ahead.

Today we went to the Springville Art Museum.  Who new that a building so beautiful was right under my nose this whole time.  I took some pics, of course.  I especially loved seeing my boys exploring the Garden of Sculptures.  Really beautiful, the way I feel about my children.

I'm proud of these guys :)  They challenge me.  They also bring sunshine and hope to all my days.

A Quiet Pain

The manilla envelope came in the mail while I was at work today.  It was nothing unexpected, just the judge's signature on my divorce decree.  A notice that my marriage to Ray is legally over.  I am relieved in an odd way, and glad to be on this side of things, instead of where I was 6 months ago.  Still, there is a quiet pain in my heart.  I think it will be there always.  Probably take it's place alongside the other chronic bits of sadness inside me.  I suspect that I will cry myself to sleep tonight.  I do a lot of that.