Signs

I spent last night in tears and prayer, which I often do.  I was up for part of the night, slept a little, and woke up early.  I instantly noticed a pink tint through my curtain.  I smiled and ran to the window to this sunset.  I felt warmed and washed away in it.  What a demonstration of God's power and love for us.  Thank you, Father.  I got your message.

Words to live by

"Always remember, your focus determines your reality."

                                                     - George Lucas

Visiting Ghosts and Ground

My new chapbook "Visiting Ghosts and Ground" is now on pre-sale on the publisher's website.  I will post a pic of the cover when I receive it.  I am so grateful for this blessing.  Here is the link for purchase:

https://www.finishinglinepress.com/product/visiting-ghosts-and-ground-by-stacy-dixon/

News from the poetry life

I am absolutely doing what I love to do.  I am raising three wonderful young men, and I am writing.  The same writing I have been doing since long before anyone ever read it.  It is good for my soul.  

Since I last wrote about this topic, I have been published in an online journal called Sweet Tree Review.  It is a poem called Night Muse.

Also, Word Fountain published an Ekphrastic poem of mine called Superimposed in their print journal.  On their website (with permission from the artist) they posted my poem along with the photograph I wrote it about.  That was very fun, and the editor David Bauman and I really enjoyed corresponding and discussing our work.

A brand new online journal Oyster River Pages published my poem Inheritance in their inaugural issue. They were fabulous to deal with, and will also publish an interview with me sometime in the next few months.

AND... best of all... Finishing Line Press accepted my new manuscript for publication!!!  The title will be "Visiting Ghosts and Ground."  It will be available for pre-order next month and will be published in March.  I am very happy and gearing up for promoting this second collection.  Thanks be to my Maker!

Grief and faith faith faith

I am very grateful for a God who loves me, who is carrying me once again.  I am thankful for the loving friends and family who continue to mop up my tears and shine a light on my path, even when it seems so dark. Five years ago, at this time, I was in an sadly similar situation.  As it was then, my personal life is rough but my writing career is on the rise. I always heard about artists suffering for their work.  It certainly has been weirdly true in my life, even though I've always put my family first.

Blooming

My grandmother lived a wonderful life.  When I knew her, she was sparkly with enthusiasm, a great piano player, painter, writer, etc.  However, she had a sad personal life, two divorces, and a myriad of other issues to deal with.  I remember that she had a beautiful violet in her living room.  I don't think I ever saw it without blooms.  She knew how to care for it.

This photo is of my violet on my desk at work.  When I came to this job, it was sick and almost dying.  I wanted to make it beautiful and did everything I could think of to help it.  The more I tried, the sicker it became.  Finally, Meredith (Horticulture Assistant) took it home, cut off it's roots, put it in water, and re-grew new roots.  She planted it and brought it back, hoping it would survive.  I followed all of her instructions carefully.  Now, almost a year later, this pretty little violet blooms almost constantly.  I pay attention to it.  If the blooms begin to die, I know something is wrong and needs to be changed.  I have learned a lot from it.

I think I am like my violet.  I understand her.

New Editor

Tiger's Eye posted this on their website today.  Whew... a new adventure!

http://www.tigerseyejournal.com/

My 23rd Mother's day

This blog is mostly for my children.  When I print it out, they will keep it.  So, for those few of you who read it, I hope you don't mind how personal it is.  This is one of those posts.  Happy Mother's Day!
Dakota, Carson, and Micah,

I once thought I would be a perfect mom, I'm not.  I also thought I would marry a wonderful man and stay married for the rest of my life.  That didn't happen either.  When I first started submitting the poetry that I had been writing all my life, I hoped for immortality.  That one day, my voice would be remembered by people, like Emily Dickinson's.  On my 23rd year as a mother, I am not sorry about any of those losses.  When I am put in the ground, I know that you will be all that is left of me.  You and your children will carry on my story and my memories.  As I look at my own mother's photo today, I hope that you will see me and remember me with lots of laughter and good times, as well as a few tears.  That you will remember all the silly things I do and the fun we have together.  All of the days at work, I really wish I could be home with you.  As for my writing and the words I leave for others, I hope it will remind you that I never gave up.  No matter how many times, I was met with rejection, I kept submitting until I achieved a level of success.  The best part of all of this is knowing that you are proud of me.  Maybe my years of trials and recovery have taught you to be resilient.  Life will push you down over and over again, but even when the rains pours on you, you can always get back up.  The sun will be out tomorrow, and your Heavenly Father will come to your aid.  I love you all so very much.

Love always,

Mom

My 2nd life

The news hasn't been announced publicly yet, but it's not a secret either.  I have been asked to join the staff of Tiger's Eye Press as a assistant editor.  This will not replace my day job, but will be more a labor of love in my spare time at home.  However, I am very very excited for this opportunity to learn, and to contribute to the wider world of poetry in new ways.  I love poets!

Primary visit

Today was Carson's annual Primary visit.  He received a great report, and my heart is very happy.  This is his last appointment with Dr. Williams as an underage child.  Next year, he will be 18, and Dr. Williams will still see him, but will be introducing him to the adult transition team.  Guaranteed, there will be tears then.  But today, I am just very grateful.  Always and always ... very grateful for my son and his good health.

I was looking through some of my photos of Primary.  Of course, there are baby ones because he spent his two first weeks of life there.  However, I thought it would be fun to post some of just the last few years.  My, how he has grown!

2010 - Right after heart catheter procedure (just to look inside with a camera).  Brave guy.

2012 - Appointment with Dr. Williams

Today (2017) - Heart Echo and appointment with Dr. Williams

Encouragement

I have always said that life is lived in the little moments.  Those moments sometimes keep us sane when times are rough.  I have had a few great little moments over the past few weeks.

Earlier this month, I learned that two of my poems will be published in an anthology called "Sand and Sky: Poems from Utah."  It is being published by the Rumi Poetry Club of Salt Lake City.  There will be a reading and book launch on May 6.  I plan to be there.

The most exciting thing happened a couple of weeks ago, when my new chapbook manuscript "Visiting Ghosts and Ground" was chosen as a semifinalist in Glass Lyre Press's Kithara book award. The announcement of the 8 semifinalists was posted on their Facebook page and social media.  It was a great honor to be chosen.   I held my breath for the next few days, but eventually received the news that I did not win the contest and publication.  It was disappointing, yes.  But still . . . so close.   I responded to the editors, who I respect a great deal, with a thank you.  Yesterday, they sent me a lovely email.  I'm doing a "copy and paste" because I want to remember these kind words.

Dear Stacy,

Thank you for your gracious response. Due to its high writing quality and atmospheric tone, it stood out during this contest period. Please take this as our enthused encouragement to continue to submit work in the future! We or any other publisher in the future would be lucky to have you.

Sincere regards,

Ami, Kelly, Linda & Mark

Submission EditorsGlass Lyre Press, LLCwww.GlassLyrePress.com

 

Just this...

Wild Geese

by Mary Oliver


You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Shooting Practice

We took a pellet gun and two 22 caliber pistols and went shooting today.  It was a first for my sons, and they had a great time.  Micah hit almost everything he shot at, to the dismay of his older brothers.  It was a lot of fun.

Uphill climbs

Sometimes things just don't go well.  There are times when my child struggles with problems I can't solve, someone hurts my feelings really badly, my full time job feels very heavy on my shoulders, I feel like I might be getting older, and I've failed once again to be the wife that I really want to be.  Sometimes I just feel very very overwhelmed.  Did I mention sad?  Yes, sometimes I am very sad.  I have been sad, for awhile now.

Those times always seem to be broken by a long talk with a best friend, a lovely sunset, prayer to my Maker, a quote found just at the right moment, a hug from my honey, a long walk, or a co-worker who took me to lunch just to listen.

I continue to be in awe of the tender mercies from God and the kindness that often saves me.

Church in the Mountains

Years ago, I picked up my children with my own strength for the last time.  They were too heavy and grown up to jump in mom's arms and be told everything was okay.  That did not mean their need for help, guidance, and comfort stopped, but I could no longer do it all for them.  Now I find that I need to pick them up with a different kind of strength.  One I am afraid I don't have enough of sometimes.  There are "boogie men" out there far worse than the ones they once feared under their beds.               

Yesterday, after a night of prayer and restless sleep, I was inspired to go where I always go when I need peace and healing.  The mountains.  It is truly God's country there and a place that my Dad always loved more than any other.  In his footsteps, I learned that help from our Creator can be found better there.   

                                                                                                                                     

My husband and sons loved the idea so we headed southward for the hills.  As we drove higher into the town of Eureka, the inversion disappeared, and we were treated to a gorgeous day and the solitude we needed.  We looked around, checked out the town's beautiful old church, and ate together at the only diner in town. Our server is studying to be a history teacher, and so she was happy to join us in conversation about the old city.  If there had been a hotel, I would have been tempted to escape our  lives for a few days, and just stay there.  

  

Good writing news

The Rumi Poetry Club from Salt Lake City are publishing an anthology of poems from Utah poets.  They put out a call for submissions, and I submitted three poems back in June.  I received an email about a week ago, saying they will publish two of my poems in the anthology.  It will be called "SAND and SKY: Poems from Utah." I am happy to have some work included in the book. There will be some sort of launch party and reading in Salt Lake when the book is published.  This should be fun.

Life is always moving

Today I am reminded that life is always moving.  The one thing we can always count on is change.

There have been many changes in my life recently, some have been good and others have been very rough.  I am on this subject because one of our employees is moving on to another job, and this is her last day.  She came to give me a hug and say goodbye, and I could see that she was doing everything to control the emotion in her blood shot eyes.  It reminded me of the day I walked out of the Provo library in 2012, after six years there.  I felt like I was leaving my second home.  So much history there.  Then again, when I left the Orem library last year.  I really loved that job, and the people I worked with.  It was a job I had once swore I would stay at forever.  Never the less, I walked out of the building that day with tears streaming down my cheeks.  I was excited for my new job, and working full time had become necessary, but I was still absolutely heart-broken to be leaving.  I've been reminded just now, change is difficult.

Babies

Brighton Kenneth Pilcher was born on December 29th at 12:00 a.m.  He weighed 5 lbs 15 oz. and was 19 inches long.  He was also 4 weeks early.  Due to that fact, and Jayne's high blood pressure, they just left the hospital yesterday.  We have finally been able to go to Ogden and spend some time with the new little one.

And also a pic of me with William (Blake and Amy's son) who is a year and a half .