A truth to hold onto

I am having lots of weird days.  More than I will admit.  There is a truth in my life that I manage to hold onto.  I have great kids.  I mean it.  I know that everyone says that, but I really do.  There are struggles with raising my sons, everyone has those.  But everyday, I wake up to these three miracles in my life, and I am ever so grateful.  Soooo grateful that God sees it all and knows what he is doing, because I so often do not understand.

Happy Birthday, Carson!

Today is Carson's 12th Birthday.  Wow, where did the years go?  I know moms always say that, but
whew. . . it's so true.

We celebrated by taking a couple of Carson's friends with us and going to Fat Cats.  Bowling was so much fun, and then there was pizza and arcade.  After we were worn out, we went back to our house for cake and ice cream.

Carson, I am so proud of you!  I love your courage, your compassion for others, and your larger-than-life spirit.  I believe there are no limits to what you can accomplish in life.  Love you!

Sometimes hard work pays off . . .

Sometimes after months and months of grueling hard work, when you least expect it, a blessing can just fall from Heaven and hit you right on the nose.  And you realize at that moment, that the "Big Guy" up there has been paying attention to all the work and striving you've been doing down here.  That's what happened to me, and I'm taking it. 

Yesterday, my Manager come into the ENT Clinic and asked if she could "speak to me for a few minutes."  We retired to the break room, which is basically the only semi-private place to talk there.  She told me that her boss had "out of the clear blue sky" given her permission to make some changes.  One of those changes includes a promotion and increase in hours for me!  She wanted to know how I felt about accepting these changes.  This will mean more responsibility for me in an already busy Practice, but I'm willing to do what it takes.  My wages will go up with the increased hours, and the cost of our medical insurance will go down.  Yip, I'm taking this and running with it. 

Will this solve our terrible financial woes? No, not by a long shot.  However, with every step forward, I am encouraged to keep trying and know that better days are coming.

I celebrated by quitting my job at the Springville Clinic and eating cheese cake.  No more Instacare Clinic for me.  Grateful!

My little "work world"

First of all, it is finally snowing outside!  I was at the Library, where I usually am when I see the first snow outside.  We have these great big windows and it's so beautiful to watch from there. 

I've been working so many days that it's difficult to find time to blog.  I haven't talked about my jobs here. It's time to do that.  I technically still have my job at the Springville Family Practice and Instacare Clinic, but I'm not working many hours there anymore.  Around Dec. 10th, I was hired by another Intermountain Healthcare Clinic.  It is called the Utah Valley ENT and Allergy Clinic in Pleasant Grove.  I was also hired to work one day a week at the North Valley Pediatric Clinic (across the street).  Both clinics are managed by the same person, and she combined the two jobs so that I would be eligible for benefits.  I work 28 hours per week, and sometimes more, for those clinics.  Then I also still work at the Library about 15 hours per week.  It is honestly a little more than I feel I can handle, but I'm hanging in there.  I feel so blessed to have these opportunities.  The ENT Clinic is my "home base" as far as Intermountain is concerned.  It is growing like crazy and we just hired a PA, so I know that my hours will increase eventually.  When that happens, I will get a discount on the cost of our medical insurance.  But hey, starting February 1st, at least we will have it!

I miss being at home so much, but know this is what I have to do right now to support our family.  There is no choice for me, and I make the best of it.  As always, I've been blessed with good jobs and co-workers which make the days bearable for me.  I know so many people who are still without any work, or work in terrible or unsafe conditions just to have a job.  I also know some who are on the street at this point.  I work in great environments with good people.  I do understand how fortunate I am, and I don't forget it.

Thinking about Anna Akhmatova

There are many classic writers whom I have discovered on my own, later than some of my friends who have more academic backgrounds.  It does not, however, make my love for these writers, or my fascination of their work any less.  I read extensively, and enjoy finding those voices who speak to me so clearly, even though they are long gone to another realm.

The first time I read Anna Akhmatova's work, I knew that her words would stay with me.  She chose to stay in her native country of Russia and be a voice for her people, even though her work was condemned and banned.  While those around her were killed and imprisoned for speaking out, she and other poets read their work in a basement club and wrote with passion about their lives and the conditions they lived in.  I admire her for these things.  But I love that her work was not always sad, but beautiful and haunting.  Her love of nature and of her country is so strong.  A brave and talented woman.

We face terrible conditions in our own country today.  Things I never thought I would see, or be affected by.  I've been thinking of Anna's words.

A Land Not Mine
by Anna Akhmatova
(Translated by Jane Kenyon)


A land not mine, still
forever memorable,
the waters of its ocean
chill and fresh.

Sand on the bottom whiter than chalk,
and the air drunk, like wine,
late sun lays bare
the rosy limbs of the pinetrees.

Sunset in the ethereal waves:
I cannot tell if the day
is ending, or the world, or if
the secret of secrets is inside me again.

More poetry news

A few months ago, I submitted some work to a contest called "Poetry on Canvas."  It's a contest that features Utah poets and artists.  Recently I received word that three of my poems will be included in the chapbook. More fun is that one of them (Night Terror) was chosen to be interpreted in fine art by a local artist.  There will be a gala event and reading in March and then the winning paintings and poems will be displayed side by side in a gallery for a month.  I am very interested to see the painting and happy to be included in this event. 

Writing is still a very big part of who I am.  My love of it has also brought some wonderful people into my life.  Grateful.

Just when you thought this blog was safe . . .

I just thought I would be silly and throw in some unedited photos from home.  Life is never boring.

Due to my friend Sara's talent for making wands, there are lots of spells around here.

                                                               Summer squash chaos

Yip, it's my big brother Carson again.

                                           Probably wondering why they are taking my picture