Exponent II

I received my contributors copy of Exponent II in the mail today.  My poem "The Middle" is published in it. It looks very nice, and I am thrilled to be featured in those pages.

http://exponent.hyperingenuity.com/store.cgi

Suoman morning

I miss Suomi so much.  My sister sent me this morning photo.  Oh, how I long to go there again and be with my Finnish family.  Dreams.

Ready or not, it's August!

First of all, our temperatures outside have already been over 100 degrees in July.  Me and my "no air conditioner vehicle" would thank the heavens if it does not get any hotter in August.

Next, it's "back to school" month for Carson and Micah.  Always a stressful but exciting time when they start a new school year.  I am wondering where the summer went.  It really flew by for me. Carson is a driver now too.

At work, it is County Fair time.  For me, that means finding volunteer Horticulture judges for several fairs, and a lot of other projects.  I will also spend some time all alone in the office "holding down the fort" while others are away at our own Utah County Fair.  Lucky me.  Ha ha.

Once upon a time, when they were little, Carson and Micah were exactly the same height.  Carson would get so mad when strangers would ask me if they were twins.  He would say "I'm two and a half years older than him!" Well, as fate would have it, they are once again the same height.  Carson hit 5' 9" a few months ago, at the age of 16.  Over this summer, Micah has grown a remarkable amount of inches to equal his brother at the age of 13.  Amazing to me.  Here's a little look back...

They are Woodwards

Carson just got his permanent driver's license.  I am so proud of him, because he worked so hard to get it done.  When we were at the DMV and the man handed Carson his new paper license (because the other one will be mailed to him) I was stunned when I looked at the photo.  I always knew that both Dakota and Carson resemble my dad, but something about this new photo really struck me.  My dad never knew either of them on this earth, but they carry on his looks and traits so much.  Carson's photo is very grainy, and I have better ones of my dad, but for now . . .

Rejection can be awesome

No one likes to discuss rejection.  For a writer, those come in the form of letters or emails.  They are usually a standard form with about two boring lines, such as "Thank you for your interest in ___  journal.  We do not feel your work is right for us at this time."  Everyone gets these. Dozens of them, if you are submitting regularly like me.  Over the years, I have seen a few variations, and received a few personal notes. However, kudos to a little publication in New Hampshire called "Outlook Springs!"  Their poetry editor (or poetry warlock, as he calls himself) Jayce Russell, sent me the best rejection email I have ever received.  He did explain that they are not using my poem for this issue, and the reason why.  He described in detail the things he liked about my poem and how he would like to see more of my work.  It's a rare treat when a busy editor will spend that amount of time reading my work, and then send such a thoughtful and helpful personal email.  Who would have ever thought it?  For the first time ever, a rejection letter made my day!

No one can grow up anymore!

Micah's voice is changing.  It's changing.  He's my youngest.  The only one who can answer the phone with that young sounding voice.  Those days are numbered.

Carson is getting his driver's license.  He works.  He likes girls.  He likes girls very much.  He pointed out a house to me a few days ago and said,  "I know who lives there. They have a daughter my age."  I laughed and said, "I bet you know every girl your age for a mile around our house."  To which he replied with a grin, "Three miles."

Dakota is already grown.  I've faced that already.

This just has to slow down somehow.  Sigh.

For my boys . . .always

I was up late last night, writing and thinking about life and love and all things tender.  I thought most of all about how my mother's strength survives with me today, and then came these thoughts.

Dakota, Carson, and Micah,

When I was younger, I had always heard people talk about how their mothers, in their old age, at the end of their lives, had given them "death bed advice."  Some would say their dying wishes, ask special things of their children.  My mother did not do that.  I was far from perfect at that time in my life.  I had two young children, was not active in church, and struggled with my marriage.  Yet, my mother's only concern in her last days was to tell me how much she loved me a few more times.  She told me that she had no regrets, that I was the greatest joy of her life.  She asked nothing of me.  She extended her unconditional love for me, her pride in me, and expressed how she loved the gift of the close relationship we shared.

My sons, I hope to live a long life, and see my grandchildren.  In my older years, despite the state of my health or my mind, I hope you will know that you are my everything.  That I celebrate your individuality, personalities, gifts, and talents.  Each decision that I have made in this life, since the days you were born, has been made with your best interests and happiness in mind.  Never do I wish that any of you were different. You are exactly who God made you to be, even with some struggles.  We all have those.  You are clearly my greatest joys.  Being a mom is my favorite thing.  You are more important than all the dreams that ever slipped through my fingers.  Whatever happens in the next world, I pray that we will be together.  There could be no Heaven for me, without the three of you.  I love you always.

                                                                                 Love,
                                                                                      Mom