For my boys . . .always

I was up late last night, writing and thinking about life and love and all things tender.  I thought most of all about how my mother's strength survives with me today, and then came these thoughts.

Dakota, Carson, and Micah,

When I was younger, I had always heard people talk about how their mothers, in their old age, at the end of their lives, had given them "death bed advice."  Some would say their dying wishes, ask special things of their children.  My mother did not do that.  I was far from perfect at that time in my life.  I had two young children, was not active in church, and struggled with my marriage.  Yet, my mother's only concern in her last days was to tell me how much she loved me a few more times.  She told me that she had no regrets, that I was the greatest joy of her life.  She asked nothing of me.  She extended her unconditional love for me, her pride in me, and expressed how she loved the gift of the close relationship we shared.

My sons, I hope to live a long life, and see my grandchildren.  In my older years, despite the state of my health or my mind, I hope you will know that you are my everything.  That I celebrate your individuality, personalities, gifts, and talents.  Each decision that I have made in this life, since the days you were born, has been made with your best interests and happiness in mind.  Never do I wish that any of you were different. You are exactly who God made you to be, even with some struggles.  We all have those.  You are clearly my greatest joys.  Being a mom is my favorite thing.  You are more important than all the dreams that ever slipped through my fingers.  Whatever happens in the next world, I pray that we will be together.  There could be no Heaven for me, without the three of you.  I love you always.

                                                                                 Love,
                                                                                      Mom