Some grief and heartbreak

I've been struggling for the past week.  Sometimes we don't know how precious history is until it's gone. Last Sunday, I found out that my family movies (which I had never taken the time to put on DVD) had been donated to Tags, along with some other old VHS tapes.  We tried everything to find them, but two days later I had to accept that I would not see them again.  They were all my movies of my boys as newborns, ultrasounds, birthdays, and home made movies.  Also in the bunch was my only movie of my mother.  She was at our house for Dakota's 5th birthday, a year before she passed away.  I will miss being able to hear her voice again.

I cried and cried.  I felt like I would never feel better.  I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned, seeing those cute movies of my babies and toddlers in my head each time I closed my eyes.  I kept telling myself that others have lost all of their memories in fires and natural disasters.  Still, my heart aches for those precious memories.  It has felt like such a loss to me.  I remain grateful for all that I have and will try to do a better job of preserving the photos and keepsakes I have left.