Just this...

Wild Geese

by Mary Oliver


You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Shooting Practice

We took a pellet gun and two 22 caliber pistols and went shooting today.  It was a first for my sons, and they had a great time.  Micah hit almost everything he shot at, to the dismay of his older brothers.  It was a lot of fun.

Uphill climbs

Sometimes things just don't go well.  There are times when my child struggles with problems I can't solve, someone hurts my feelings really badly, my full time job feels very heavy on my shoulders, I feel like I might be getting older, and I've failed once again to be the wife that I really want to be.  Sometimes I just feel very very overwhelmed.  Did I mention sad?  Yes, sometimes I am very sad.  I have been sad, for awhile now.

Those times always seem to be broken by a long talk with a best friend, a lovely sunset, prayer to my Maker, a quote found just at the right moment, a hug from my honey, a long walk, or a co-worker who took me to lunch just to listen.

I continue to be in awe of the tender mercies from God and the kindness that often saves me.

Church in the Mountains

Years ago, I picked up my children with my own strength for the last time.  They were too heavy and grown up to jump in mom's arms and be told everything was okay.  That did not mean their need for help, guidance, and comfort stopped, but I could no longer do it all for them.  Now I find that I need to pick them up with a different kind of strength.  One I am afraid I don't have enough of sometimes.  There are "boogie men" out there far worse than the ones they once feared under their beds.               

Yesterday, after a night of prayer and restless sleep, I was inspired to go where I always go when I need peace and healing.  The mountains.  It is truly God's country there and a place that my Dad always loved more than any other.  In his footsteps, I learned that help from our Creator can be found better there.   

                                                                                                                                     

My husband and sons loved the idea so we headed southward for the hills.  As we drove higher into the town of Eureka, the inversion disappeared, and we were treated to a gorgeous day and the solitude we needed.  We looked around, checked out the town's beautiful old church, and ate together at the only diner in town. Our server is studying to be a history teacher, and so she was happy to join us in conversation about the old city.  If there had been a hotel, I would have been tempted to escape our  lives for a few days, and just stay there.  

  

Good writing news

The Rumi Poetry Club from Salt Lake City are publishing an anthology of poems from Utah poets.  They put out a call for submissions, and I submitted three poems back in June.  I received an email about a week ago, saying they will publish two of my poems in the anthology.  It will be called "SAND and SKY: Poems from Utah." I am happy to have some work included in the book. There will be some sort of launch party and reading in Salt Lake when the book is published.  This should be fun.

Life is always moving

Today I am reminded that life is always moving.  The one thing we can always count on is change.

There have been many changes in my life recently, some have been good and others have been very rough.  I am on this subject because one of our employees is moving on to another job, and this is her last day.  She came to give me a hug and say goodbye, and I could see that she was doing everything to control the emotion in her blood shot eyes.  It reminded me of the day I walked out of the Provo library in 2012, after six years there.  I felt like I was leaving my second home.  So much history there.  Then again, when I left the Orem library last year.  I really loved that job, and the people I worked with.  It was a job I had once swore I would stay at forever.  Never the less, I walked out of the building that day with tears streaming down my cheeks.  I was excited for my new job, and working full time had become necessary, but I was still absolutely heart-broken to be leaving.  I've been reminded just now, change is difficult.

Babies

Brighton Kenneth Pilcher was born on December 29th at 12:00 a.m.  He weighed 5 lbs 15 oz. and was 19 inches long.  He was also 4 weeks early.  Due to that fact, and Jayne's high blood pressure, they just left the hospital yesterday.  We have finally been able to go to Ogden and spend some time with the new little one.

And also a pic of me with William (Blake and Amy's son) who is a year and a half .