Good-bye 2011

This year has been a rough one for me.  You already know that.  However, today I have been thinking that there have also been blessings this year.  Many of them.  My family and I have good health, our home, food on our table.  I'm even grateful for the three jobs that tire me out so much.  Where would we be without them? 

I have a great extended family of cousins.  With my parents both gone, and no siblings that I am close to, my Uncle and Aunt and my cousins are so much my family.  I adore them, and appreciate them more than they know.

My close circle of friends keep me going.  If I need someone, all I need to do is pick up the phone.  There will be a supportive voice on the other end of the line.  I truly love them.

My boys!  Need I say more?  I have three of the best kids on the planet.  They are so much fun and make me laugh hysterically.  They inspire me to push myself beyond my limits.

I spend more waking hours with my co-workers than anyone else in my life, at this point.  I didn't plan it or want it that way, but it has become my reality.  My work has been the sole source of income for us this entire year.  Those whom I work with have become a huge part of my world.  I'm grateful that I enjoy them so much.

I'm also so thankful that I love to create.  Being able to write keeps me sane.  

I could go on and on, but I will just say I will treasure the memories from this year, but I'm not sorry to see it go.  I hope for happier days in 2012.  Happy New Year to all those I love! 

Christmas Day

I love this time of year.  I'm thankful to celebrate the birth of our Savior.  I am always overwhelmed by the love from family and friends. 

Our day has been wonderful and long.  My children are always up by 6:00 (because I force them to stay in bed until that time).  The house is cluttered with toys and clothes and new things.  We have food in our fridge and on our counters.  Micah, Carson, and I stayed up late watching Norad track Santa on his journey, on the internet.  When I was little, we just watched for a red light in the sky.  Now things are high tech.  Even the government tracks him :)

One of our highlights this year was being "Secret Santas" to our little elderly neighbor.  Carson had the idea to do the 12 days of Christmas and we all participated.  Our hearts have been warmed as we created notes and packed goodies in bags each evening.  Then we did our nightly delivery, and watched her excitement as she hurried to the door.  Honestly, it really did make our holiday.  I can only hope that she enjoyed it as much as we did.

Here are some pics.  Merry Christmas to all!

Catching up again

I had a fun Birthday a few days ago, when I turned a year older on the 20th.  I worked all day at the ENT Clinic (my newest job).  My Manager and Co-workers surprised me with a treat for lunch and also a card and gift.

When I got home, everything had turned PURPLE.  It's my favorite color, so my kids and hubby had been decorating.  We had pizza and cake and ice cream.  It was just so nice to spend the evening at home. 

I should also mention that I received gifts from my buddies at the Library also.   I love those guys!  My friend (Katie) came over and visited me, and gave me another favorite thing: fuzzy socks and lotion.  Bliss!  I felt very loved :) 

The "Christmas Junkie" in me!

Have I mentioned that I call myself a "Christmas Junkie" for good reason?  I love the season.  I was born five days before Christmas, and grew up in a holiday loving family.  I hope to pass on the tradition to my own children.  Of course, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus.  For me, there is a magic about it that you never grow out of.  I love the traditions which surround this time of year.  Great childhood memories of hot cocoa, taking rides to look at lights, making cut-out sugar cookies (with my mom's tin cookie cutters), choosing a tree and spending a whole evening decorating it.  My Grandma always spent Christmas night at our house, and slept with me in my room.  She was worse than any kid, and kept me awake with excitement most of the night.  I remember her whispering  "Did you hear that?  I think there's something on the roof."  This would go on until my Mom would yell from the other room, "Mother, you two go to sleep!"  Then we would giggle and giggle.  What a lovely time those years with my Grandma were, and how warm I still feel when I think of her smile and her laugh.

Now, of course, I love doing all these things with my own family.  My boys are also very traditional about the things we do at this time of year.  They remind me if I forget anything.  And yes, I'm still silly about it, and spend all the time I can doing fun Christmas things.  Merry Christmas to all! 

New Job!

I am so thankful for a large blessing.  I've been applying for other positions at Intermountain Healthcare, with more hours and benefits.  Today I received a job offer, and accepted it!  So I have a new job starting this week.  Well, technically I have another job to add to my collection, but who's counting?  For those of you who are, I now officially have four jobs.  I will only have these four jobs for two weeks, thank goodness.  What a juggling act that will be :)  Three Clinics and the Library.  Anyway, I am celebrating this very good and long awaited change.  My family needed this so much.  More details to come...

Thanksgiving

Fire Dreams
by Carl Sandburg

(Written to be read aloud, if so be, Thanksgiving Day)

I remember here by the fire,
In the flickering reds and saffrons,
They came in a ramshackle tub,
Pilgrims in tall hats,
Pilgrims of iron jaws,
Drifting by weeks on beaten seas,
And the random chapters say
They were glad and sang to God.

And so
Since the iron-jawed men sat down
And said, "Thanks, O God,"
For life and soup and a little less
Than a hobo handout to-day,
Since gray winds blew gray patterns of sleet on Plymouth Rock,
Since the iron-jawed men sang "Thanks, O God,"
You and I, O Child of the West,
Remember more than ever
November and the hunter's moon,
November and the yellow-spotted hills.

And so
In the name of the iron-jawed men
I will stand up and say yes till the finish is come and gone.
God of all broken hearts, empty hands, sleeping soldiers,
God of all star-flung beaches of night sky,
I and my love-child stand up together to-day and sing: "Thanks, O God."



I am thankful today for more things that I can express.  Most of all, I am thankful to a God who even in his greatness, takes the time to listen to me.  I know that his hand is in all things. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all! 

Becoming one of "them"

It is Veterans Day and I am grateful to my loved ones who have served, and all others.  However, I can only be as sincere as my own experiences allow.  I can remember my father's tears for his fallen fellow soldiers, and my mother's tears over friends and boyfriends who didn't make it home, but I didn't suffer through it like they did. 

This has made me think about a topic I need to write about.  We are kind people, most of us humans, and we feel that we have sufficient sympathy for those who suffer.  Yet our understanding is limited to what we have experienced for ourselves.  This is the part that scares me, you know, the part about God giving us trials for our own perfecting.  Sometimes I feel that if I don't have enough empathy for someone else, I will be doomed to experience their trial. 

When I say that God has blessed my life, it is an understatement!  My path has been filled with great parents, friends, and loved ones.  Earthly Angels (and other types) have come to my aid more times than I can recall.  I have a husband who worked for many years to support our family, and three children that I adore.   We have all been touched by many miracles.

I am enduring another type of trial, one that (by my own admission) I would happily take rather than an ill child, the death of a loved one, and some other things I've endured in the past.  This is where my hope exists from day to day.  In that space between the now, and how bad it was then.  I can't tell you how many times a week I say to myself, "It's not as bad as when . . ."  That mantra sort of keeps me going.

Since I was 20 years old, I have had good employment and health benefits.  After marriage, when Dakota was a year old, Ray gained employment at Springville City.  We spent the next 16 years with a comfortable income and great health insurance and benefits.  I always looked around me at those who did not have these things and wondered how they did it.  And admittedly, I judged those whom I should not have judged.

In July of 2010, without warning or compensation of any kind, Ray lost his 15 year job.  Within literally days, life as we knew it was over.  It was probably a tender mercy to me that I did not realize then how devastating this occurence would be to our lives.  We were left without wages, health insurance, benefits, and could not qualify for help.  All that remained was my part-time job at the Library to support us.  We would, over the months, be forced to cash out everything we had worked so hard to gain.  As the days turned into months, and soon into a year, and now even longer, our losses seemed to domino and it was difficult to keep from sinking into despair.

With help from so many, we are still scraping along.  I have gained another part-time job.  It's not enough to pay our bills and we still have no insurance, but I'm so grateful for it.  I have learned to work hours that I never thought I could.  Seven days a week, I keep it up.  I have two of the best bosses anywhere, and unbelievable co-workers.  Without them, I could not make it through the days.  I've come to appreciate all the gift cards, money, candy, and kind encouraging notes that are so often left in my locker at the Library.  Most of all, they keep me smiling and saying "You can do this. Just four more hours." Because, like it or not, I am one of "them" now.  One of those people that I felt so sorry for before this new life.  I understand the exhaustion that often clouds your thinking and makes you forget things.  And the fear that permeates every moment, wondering how to slide through another week, with a roof over your head and food for your family.  Once I thought I understood this, but I didn't.  Now I do!  Will it make me a better person?  I hope so.